Disability, Culture, Marriage And Gender Relations: Rite Of Marriage

According to many traditional African beliefs and practices, the Rite of Marriage is the third major initiation rite and it represents not only the joining of two families, but also the joining of the two missions of the new couple. In other words, the marriage rites are performed for not only the coming together of male and females to procreate and perpetuate life and the coming together of families, it is also an institution that helps both the husband and wife to best fulfill their mission and objectives in life. The transfer of stigma to those associated with a stigmatized individual, labeled, ‘courtesy stigma’ is most often found to affect the spouses of disabled women who have been able to stay in marriage. Threats from the villagers are seen to be too hard to bear. A disabled woman whose husband decided to stay with her regardless of her disability confessed that her husband faced more pressure like he was also disabled.

“...Then the villagers faced my husband, they said “Your wife is disabled, so what will you do either you kick her out or you have to leave this village. That time my husband requested me to accompany him to Nairobi otherwise we would be in trouble, so my husband was also afraid about it...”

In some cultures, Bride wealth, a gift to the bride’s family before the first wedding ceremony, was discussed by two participants; both felt that generally, disabled women should not expect any bride wealth. This was so due to the belief that a disabled woman should count herself lucky if she gets a man and in most cases the man would be an old widower or one who was considered an outcast and unable to get a wife. A female respondent said that if a woman is disabled then a larger dowry will be requested for her marriage with her family claiming that they have really worked hard to raise her into a woman so they needed compensation for their efforts. In some cultures we find that the woman's family is the one expected to pay the dowry, in such cases, families that accept a disabled woman into their family expect compensation for doing so, either through larger dowries from disabled woman's family.